hey so my life is how you say really twisted yeah i think thats the word for one i cant spell to good when im reall ticked or write everything as you all can see from my last post i can fix but i was thinking that would take to much time now how lazy is that omg guess who im’d me cassie i was like omg what do i do lol so after i freak’d out alittle bit i im’d back saying hey so she says im about to get the pool talk to later ..so i say when ..she says whenever …i mean the red alter DANGER * DANGER was going off in my head but did i listen noooooo..so im goin to talk to her later she is the very frist person i ever called kiddo and she is a few years older too we sorta have a past history o anyways so i went to church tuesday steph picked me up and we got some tacos to eat before we got there so i go in and Aaron is playing the guitar it is just so cool how he plays one day i will be that good for now i’ll just play in my room to the photo’s on my wall …lol….so i go say hi to erika and then she says lets go sit on the sofa so we do and i start telling her the bowling ally and what happpen and she was laughing so hard and stuff and we were just sitting there and then alethea walk’d threw the doors i was sorta wishing she was goin come that night then again kinda uneasy to go and say hi cuz i really didnt know what to say u know well i sorta got the courage to say hey but as i saying hello i voice kinda was messing up on me and she says do you have a cold i said no i cuz i really didnt but man that would have been a good excuse but i didnt so i sorta hung around but she wasnt much for convo so i went to play some pool i felt really redish so i had to something and that something was to act silly so i did ooo..i just remember’d she did get the letter and the e-mail but she said she wasnt goin write back to either so im geussing if i called she wouldnt have answerd or call ‘d back and i dont know how to take it either i mean what does that mean does that mean i should stop tryin and leave her be ..so when church was over i tried talking to her again but as it being we were at church couldnt really talk with out being cut off every few min. so i would have talk’d to her more at starbucks but when she got there i had to leave in a few min. so i just left it alone so i dont know what to do still i mean everytime i say we should she says we are talking and then she smiles she has a coulpe diffrent smile’s you know and the one i kept getting was where she wants to see me react to what she just said or did as i always do i react with out even knowing it so i dont if i should just leave it alone or keep trying i mean i want to be friends but is that what she wants i really dont know …and you know what i had a crazy dream last night and you know what she was in it and tom…aaron …and a few other people see i had this Q. to ask alethea but i chicken out cuz i didnt want to hear what i didnt want to hear so i freakin dreamt about and got the alethea way ..even in my dreams she drives me nutts well i gtg cassie just im’d me so later
Thursday, August 18, 2005
a poem
Red and Black
intertwine depths of the soul
as my heart falls to a bottomless pit
there you are no more
my vision is red
as the flames of hadies
i yell to you yet you cover your ears
i run to you yet you run from me
soul darkens
my vision is now black
as the night sky
still i cry out yet you just stare
staring back
blue mix’s with brown
eyes are locked
much is being said
yet not a word is being spoken
for the soul needs no
words nor color
so this poem is about someone that i use to be close with* i think its one of my deepest poems yet …so people give me your input tell me what this poem says to you …..i’ll be back to post in a few later
