My LIFE as I Know IT

so i got up early i thought i would sleep to like noon or something but i didnt so i have  a interview 2morrow at 5pm and i have 2 people comeing to my church at 6:30pm …i dont know i i want them to come now ..heres why..ok so i use to talk alot about church and and a few people and stuff  but now if they come and see its not like that{ well it use to be} …i just dont want them seeing how much of a loser i am …i cant say dont come …i could say im not feeling well or something i’ll think of something….it seems  like the more i try to fit in the more i dont ..and you cant help not listening to what people say cuz when you think about it and it looks like they are right it can bring you down o well ….i need a hug right now  but theres no one  to give me one and i dont want to call anyone  or e-mail i want it with out asking  you know ….anyways i made this cool necklace  yesterday  im going to wear it all week so later on im going to buy some clothes for my interveiw well im goin  go make a phone call ..and then clean my room cuz when all else fails thats what i do to keep myself busy so i dont have to over think about things people say so later

so my day has been pretty good …i was out at  kent.lake all day ..  my face got too much sun but not my legs o no that would be to right  :P….it was so pretty out there but o course my camera  wasnt working   ..while i was out there i kept  thinking about #@L%^2…. o well so i’ve been doing some hard thinking  o well i’ll write more 2morrow later

so i went blowing with my guys  { my 2brothers and travis } i treated and we blowed 2games and i hurt my right hand so now both of my hands  are hurt yay..not…so after we got ices  it was fun before we left the house we had sundays it was really good and now im eating my dinner ..im eating a sandwich i made up whatever lunch meat you like and then potato salad on it and thats it well of course u need  bread and i know it sound weird but its good! so i talk’d to aaron a some of them were hanging out somewhere …..aaron is a cool guy to know thumbs up to ya aaron o so i got a interview on monday i know laborday weird but hey i dont mind…i got a mean e-mail from well i wont say who but i mean if ya goy something to say call me or something and if i dont answer after awhile then e-mail IF everything  else fails  i should really go and try to get some sleep so travis  still wants to come tuesday ..sigh…im really stoked ….i dont know how im goin feel that day some stuff is going  to happen  o well we shall see….so what do you do when you feel like pounding some one ….me i would stay far away but some people dont seem to get a clue …..anyways i couldnt seem to get  @@@ off my mind  i even made a mistake and called someone else that persons name  i truned so red it made that person laugh and i think they forgot …i hope….life is just funny like that some times you know well i got to go to bed so later and good night

me- hello

++*- hi …how are you

me - who is this

++*- you forgotten me

me -come on

++*- o okay =faith

me - faith who

++*- saying last name

me - o im sorry ..how are you

++*- im great ..so i have something to tell you

me - so tell me

++*- well its not that easy..

me- k..so how can i make it a little bit easy

++*- its about em…

me- o..whats wrong

++*-o nothing like that …its just saying sorry both of us

me- hmm…k

++*- so what are you up to today

me - nothing much why

++*- i was wondering if you wanted to hang out and talk about a few things

me - i dont know

++*- your a good kid ….so what your thinking now just go with it

me - o okay

++*- but if you change your mind call me on this number

me - oaky ..we’ll see what happens …well have a good day …goodbye

++*- okay bye bye

so this was a weird convo. and the thing is i said goodbye so there is really no chance of me calling her back ..all i want to do right now is sleep not cuz i didnt sleep well …my grandpa is dieing and im not taking it very well AT all …some people that know said everything well be okay and i know how you feel or people die just be lucky he  lived along life …one they dont know how i feel cuz they never ask’d  and they did the whole how are you bit but didnt really care to know the answer i hate that when people do that…well i got to do my sisters hair and go put some mins.on my phone and make a few phone calls so later

my heart still skips a beat when i see you

i still catch my self flriting with you

i’d still bend over backwards for you

i still cant sleep right cuz you

still take over my mind

if i still had to go threw  hell and back just to

see you smile

i still would

nothing less and so much more is what

i still want for you

and yet still never can nor could tell you

okay i know its not that good but its still in the works..lol…so yesterday evening well that friend didnt show up sorta bummed  a few things didnt work out like thought ..what can you do …..so i got to church sorta early so i just chilled put my headphones on and sat this really fun chair so i spun around for awhile  and stuff i was in this quiet mood so i didnt say much untill the end of church this song  aaron sang really got to me i’ve heard him sing before and stuff but last night it just really got to me …..it was just one of those days were you want to run into some ones arms and just cry ..im not a person who likes to cry infront of people and stuff  but man i almost did last night i dont know how that person would have taken it but i didnt i suck’d it up and smiled and you know what i caught myself flriting with someone it was just crazy i would get this  cheesey smile on my face i couldnt stop myself weird ..anyways this guy robert is cool hes from church  so heres what happens i went over to say hi and stuff he gave me this hug i mean thee hug that you get from a guy who’s into you i dont think this the case but still it was that kinda hug …me and him played some foze ball not sure if thats how you spell it but thats what im going to stick with so anyways he was beating me and then i swear he just started to let me win cuz i am not good at that game at all …needless to say he ask’d for my number to talk to me about something about i forget it was about something though lol just cant remember other things fill’d my mind ….okay so i have this gift for a friend i’ve had it for about 5months now i still dont know if i should give it to this person well its 12:54 am im thinking about making a phone call this way there is always a chance they wont answer cuz its late or really early which ever it is i dont know …anyways so i had to work tonight and stuff and im wide awake yay ……well im bored so later