My LIFE as I Know IT

so your mad and confused so you go for a run its the 2nd night of snow and its really cold but you run anyways your running and running as things that  had happen the past months and days go threw your mind and then  the next thing you know your waking up at home  your mom says you fainted they found you knocked out a few blocks away …well you go to say i must be tried but nothing comes out ..then you start to freak so now your at the doctors and he is telling its gone to your throat ..you can talk now your voice came back on the way to the doctors..so you say to the doc. your joking right? and he looks at you and then looks at his clipbroadand then you knew ,,then he says in a month or 2 you’ll have no voice your  heart feels like it just smash’d just like the time you had a talk with a friend, they need’d time….then  the doctor says have the surgry and you could save your  voice so you say i’ll think about it …….this time its 4th night of snow and you go for a run your running your  hardest  as tears flow down your cheeks  …as your thinking you how you really dont like doctors ..and then you think maybe this is good cuz nobody really wants to talk to you so and you rto shy to sing so yeah then you go home an dgo to bed not sleeping but stareing at the phone thinking maybe this is the night she will call //

so hey people howzit goin so here something you didnt know about me i know signlanguage  how?…well my sister didnt talk untill she was like 7 she sign’d thou so she taught me a bit and i learn ‘d  from a teacher and stuff im kinda rusty but anyways so i have work 2night and geuss what i think im going to a party after work and get this i dont have to be home untill 4am or i can just spend the night  at  sarahs house  the only thing is  im not sure about going some people will be drinking and stuff  but i think im goin go cuz they really want me to come so …i mean other then that if i didnt go it would be the same ol …get off work go home go to bed stare at my phone waiting for that  one phone call and then falling asleep after awhile so yeah chang sounds good ..i just tasted the nastest sucker every its a dum dum pear sucker ….so im thinking of  calling aaron and asking him to give someone a message for me cuz if you put 1 and 1 tougether already the you know i need say what i need to say sorta quick well i have to go the store and run back home take a shower and go 2 work and the i think the party so later folks

so losing some very close to you is never easy …..and it mess’s with you after awhile..even when you try ur hardest  to act happy  like it does bug you as much as it really does ..well if ur sick it mess’s with alot …any ways i talk’d to my almost 2weeks ago and well she knows alot more about me now then she has for awhile she didnt take it all in at once  im geussing  after we talk’d she left for awhile and later that night she came home almost spechless she couldnt stop stareing at me that nite and then some other stuff happen’d and then i went over my grandmothers house  lets just say that wasnt easy for me ..and then that nite i was off to the hosp. i was there almost a week i was bored out of my mind the ony good thing was i was able to get online and stuff….from what the doc. said was that i had a bad reaction to the meds..and stuff…so saturday  4 people i know show’d up at my work and hung out for awhile i was stok’d  well i gtg i have to go to the doc. in a bit so later

i go out as far as i can go and then some

just  to know you

i go out as far  as the sun

just ti be friends with you

i go out as far as the stars

just to be worthy of your friendship

i go out as far  as  the eye can see

just to thank you for being you

and yet i messed  it all up

without even going very far

so life isnt always what it seems …and is what it doesnt seem…..life can be crazy like that some times…so found out some stuff 2day  and im not liking any of it one bit……heres  whats  what …people can either  break you …heal you….love you …or hate you..i mean thats just way life is ….well im tried …bye

so hey i havent writen in awhile been kinda busy being sick and work and busyness…..but im not busy or any of that other stuff so im gonna write 2nite….heres whats on mind …..need to cry but wont …need to scream but cant….cant eat or even sleep…..my life is a mess like always ….me and my mom still arent talking going on 3days now…..my dog is very sick …..got my hair cut { alot off } ….me and tony are broken up as far as i know…….me and tom i think we are still friends but im not sure we dont talk anymore…..leelee called but i miss’d it…..jade moved out of state….someone said read her site …but i dont know it anymore….somethings gong on but as always i have no clue….my world crash’d and brun’d …heres what people have to say …it will be okay…it will get better…there is always 2morrow…they try but yet they dont really know what im going threw you know i could tell them but then again that would be to easy you know i almost did the other night but any time i was alone with that person some one would cut in and then my mother chew’d me out ..and it doesnt help when that person hates your guts…so yeah life is great…i havent been more confused in my life then i am now..well gtg this place is closing…peace