i cant sit still
so how do i tell my friends about who im seein..lucky me they didnt ask me to see pic of R.D then they would have sum questions…this is makin me go alil nutz …i gotta be care with how i say and what i say infornt of ppl and we all i know im not that smart…ahhhhhhhhhhhhh….so since i moved back home i fell inlove …im ssoo stress its mess with my health.there is blood ppll!!…and i dont talk to ppl as much besides R.D…..someone who was a friend liked liked me and i kept tellin them i didnt like them that way we stopd talkin for awhile and then out of no where we started talkin again and i was straight forward with this person that i didnt like them that way and i was i can be friends but nothing else they were okay i can handle that YEA rite this person went nutz on me let me tell you and then came the talk ..it was hard enough tell this again i dont love or like you that way but i had to hear this person cry i almost gave in and said look we still talk ..but i didnt was like we need to talk ..we talk this is what this person said {ande} i love you i cant live with out you in my life { me } i told you i dont like you or love you that way then ande starts cryin i was dude chill and breathe i was like we need not to talk any more and this person was like i rather have you as a friend then nothing at all ..i was like well { i felt soo bad cuz i had someone say this to me and i rememberd how it felt } not now but just give me time and maybe we can be friends… i heard her heart drop..just like when i heard those words i felt like kickin my own ass for that and now ande is in the hospital for tryin to em self.. do you know how bad i felt …i felt lower then dirt let me tell you thats reallllllly low ….and now me and R.D are having the BIG talk we have been on again off again stupid me said is there an US R.D says we are gonna have to talk 2nite..my heart sank ..i was like okay ..and i said i love you and some other stuff and R.D says same here ! an dthen says dont hate me ttyl hun…so u know im kinda losin it rite now .. i feel like cryin rite now i have this feeling something is gonna happen and i dont know if its good…see im the kind of person to where i dont want to bother ppl..want them to call me cuz thats means they want to u know i hate to bother ppl …..and well now in 2hours im gonna know if im gonna be numb or freakin happy then i ever have been…fun stuff i tell ya ..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……i tell ya how it all goes 2morrow
goodnite
